Dear Swoosh
"I am a crack dealer in KEMPTON PARK , GAUTENG who has recently beendiagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Hillbrow and one of my sisters, who lives in Benoni, is married to a transvestite.My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and sellingmarijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Brakpan. I have two brothers; one is currently servinga non-parole life sentence at Leeukop Central Prison for the murder of ateenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives inYeoville. She is now a part time "working girl ". All thingsconsidered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open andhonest with her . Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Manchester United supporter?"
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
I URGE ALL ABUS THAT READ THIS BLOG THAT WILL READ THE BLOG AND ARE TRUE TO THE ABU CAUSE TO UNITE THIS SATURDAY AND SUPPORT CHELSEA IN THE FA CUPDONT FEEL BAD, ITS GOOD SOMETIMES TO FEEL BLUE
PREVIEW
Jose has to win this, He must, To retain his Job, To get some Izzet, to show the World that he didnt win Abrahamovic's millions. Stuff the injury set backs and play with heart.
As for Utd there is no Gary Neville. And the double is certainly a priority for Sir Alex. They are confident and dangerous.
Its like in the club If you get there and one owe already had 7 V's and 5 Waters, and you had nothing . He has the edge
So Come on Chelsea and it would be nice to see the England Skipper lofting the FA CUP. My prediction is Chelsea 2 Man Utd 1
(Drogba, Terry) (C Ronaldo)
abu and chelsea fuckers..did u see the breaking news? mourinho arrested over some altercation regarding his pet dog...
ReplyDeletenow at least we know where zunaid is :)
SWOOSH WHERE U WATCHING THE GAME ON SATURDAY
ReplyDeleteLET ME KNOW EMAIL ME AMIEN.RAJAH@IS.CO.ZA
for the good of football ben chut all half decent footbal followers should get behind united, for the simple reason chelsea should be taught a lesson: you cannot buy success. on the businesses side they shown no profit with losses of upto 300 mil pounds, its not football its stupidity & greed.
ReplyDeleteMr B.
Thiery Henry`s Diary: The Captain`s Log
ReplyDeleteMonday
I am working very hard in my recovery. It is tres tough but I am stepping up the exercises to recuperate from my many, many injuries. I have played through the last three years in terrible, horrible pain, but I never complained or hid. I am a man. I am not a woman. Sometimes in life you hit a wall. You cannot always climb every wall. Sometimes there is no rope. Sometimes you have to respect the wall. You can scratch the wall, or thump your fists against it, but the wall wins. I had problems on every part of my body but I played on. I punched the wall. But then I respected the wall. I am not a machine.
Tuesday
A 'journalist' wrote an article saying that my fitness problems were inevitable, as, according to this man, I have been very lucky with injuries in my career. IDIOT! Lucky? He is idiot. I am not lucky. I had no serious injuries because I live a clean life. I have a pure life, the life of an athlete, the life of an aesthete. This is why I didn't take big injuries before. I am a professional. I do not piss my talent inside the wind. I respect my body. I have seen too many players pissing their talent away inside the wind, going to clubs and parties. Stupide. They are idiots. I am not idiot. On a pitch I take risks, I take the ball, I go wide, I cross, I shoot (sometimes), I fly, I dance, I risk. But I never take risks with my body. I never drink extra-strength lager and go to many, many parties and make love with ladies that are not Nicole.
Wednesday
Another day of work in the gym. Very, very tough. When I will come back? I don't know. I am living day after day. But you know, my comeback was not helped by a problem in my home. My daughter and wife were watching the TV but I wanted to see something on Sky to help me relax un peu. At 7pm there was a beautiful transmission called 'Va Va Voom: King Henry of Arsenal' but my wife and daughter were watching a cartoon. I asked them to switch over but they said no. NO? Come on guys, what the hell is that? I am under stress, last year I played in the Champions League final and World Cup final. It was very draining to me, it took a lot out of me. Why can't they understand that? Why can't I watch the TV show I want to watch? After the difficult season I had last year and my injuries? And still they want to watch a cartoon? What is that? Come on guys.
Thursday
I went to Arsenal's training ground today to give the boys some hope. I was very concerned on my way in the car. I know that for them it is very hard without me. Every day in training they used to look up to me and follow my lead, and without me their lives are almost pointless. But I want them to carry on. I don't want them to give up. It would make me sad if my boys like Emmanuel and Kolo were too depressed to get out of bed at the thought of playing the rest of the campaign without Thierry Henry. I shudder when I think of the guys in crisis. But they have to carry on. ALLEZ!
I saw my boys. They are so upset those guys, they are so upset that I am not out there with them. But they must be brave.
Friday
My agent told me he met Carles Puyol at a chic soiree in Barcelona. I shrugged. What am I care? Puyol is not a man. In the Champions League Final in '06, we were both captains. He played like a cheat, beating, kicking and hitting me. But I didn't go down. I am not a woman. He won the trophy but he lost my respect so he wins nothing. He is not a man. You didn't win anything Puyol. You are the idiot.
Saturday
I had to go to a party at my wife's friend's house in the country. I spoke to the man controlling the CD player and he wouldn't let me play my favourite CD by Modjo, called 'Lady (Hear Me Tonight)'. Stupide English. He put on the Phil Collins and James Blunt. Is plastic musique for me. I cannot relax inside with this musique. How can I relax with this Phillip Collins?
Then we had the food. It was all covered in ketchup. What the hell is that? Ketchup with everything? Come on guys! Why do they only eat to live in England? In France we live to eat. Food is a pleasure, an art form. Ketchup? Pah! It is a crime against art.
After we played Trivial Pursuit and it was a disaster. I was winning, I was collecting every piece of coloured plastic fromage in order, starting alphabetically with the blue piece and going around the board clockwise, collecting every colour in sequence in a beautiful intricate manner. I was playing exhibition Trivial Pursuit. I think if you are playing a board-based quiz game you must do it beautifully. Why play this quiz without making something attractive? I used my instinct; I followed my instinct to answer a question about Milli Vanilli for the pink fromage.
Then a stupide man got all the fromages in an ugly order, without control and 'won'. When he got to the centre he got an easy question to win the match (which he guessed correctly!). It was very ugly, a bad victory. I should have won. Everyone thought it. The man who 'won' the game was playing 'anti-Trivial Pursuit'. Idiot. I can win like him, with ugly tactics, you know? But I will never do it like this. It is not the Thierry Henry way. Nothing scares me in board-based quiz games.
Sunday
It is now Sunday and to relax I had hoped to go to Paris for a few days but my wife wanted to stay in London for a fashion show. What? Come on guys? What the hell is that? Can't I relax in Paris when I want? I want to give my spirit some chance to free himself, to feel himself free and fly. I have played so many games. But sometimes your body says stop and you must listen to it. I have had so much pain. I played with an Achilles problem, a sciatic nerve problem, my stomach hurts, I have a broken nail. I even played against PSV in the second leg in pain (stupide PSV and their stupide manager Koeman, idiot). Why the hell can't I go to Paris? Why not? I am captain. I am Thierry Henry. I am not an idiot, so do not treat me as one.
Forza MUFC.
ReplyDeleteI hope all you ABUS are feeling blue on Saturday. Blue after man united win the cup final, why would it even matter to you liverpool muggs, its only the 'ECL Losers Final' The Big one in Athens. The only trophy thats worth anything?? That is your guys view on English and European football, Idiots. Even Skipper Stevie G knows that his side MUST improve in the League. I'm sure you guys think his an idiot.
ReplyDeleteLet me not get started with you boys, after all you the European Power House. SO instead i'll worry about the F.A Cup Final, opening the new wembly stadium in style by the two current best sides in the league.
Can Man U win it??? Ofcos they can, we playing good football, good attacking football, its almost as nice to watch as the gunners, and you get more goals. But we playing a side they never gives up, a side that can grind out results. I'm sure we in for a cracker. Hope the Red Devils bring home thr trophy.
well said biggy, the abu's must worry about athens. defeat and another year of failure for them!
ReplyDeletei suggest they rather not watch on saturday coz guy's like swoosh hate mourinho as well, how can he know back the guy?
GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED & THE REDS WILL GO MARCHING ON !!!!
ReplyDeletewhy do the abu's even bother about UNITED THE GREAT ????
UNITED have proven beyond any reasonable doubt that THEY are a better team than LIVERPOOL & the rest of the premiership sides!!!!
MTN
I advice all ABUs not 2 watch the game.Its only the losers final.Save your energy for wednesday
ReplyDeleteCome on you bas#2rds. You telling me that you owes dont want The Champions League.
ReplyDeleteYou owes all boasted about the theater of dreams and then were silenced at the San Siro.
I wanna ask you MUGGS. Honestly would youu trade the Premiership for Big Ears?
Azee as for backing Jose. Dont you know the stoty of the Scorpion and the Frog. I am an Abu. Abu stands for anyone but United.
I wanna see Carrick the Mugg do something special when it matters the most. Carrick showed his weakness against the Big Guns.
Carrick vs Essien.
Come On the Blues.
ALSO WHICH ALI WILL BE SUPPORTING LIVERPOOL?
They say he brought the dog from Portugal. Dog was found in the Dumpster. He calls it Ronaldo.
ReplyDeleteBritish Pet Detectives came to confiscate the dog as it doesnt comply with the Pet Act of 1981.
dont know how true it is.....
I wouldn't trade the premiership for anything. Its a Massive trophy to win. Not saying i wouldn't want big ears, but you need both. Man U are the type of team that wanna win every competition they enter. So yes we did want big ears, but the league was priority no 1. Just for the record, if Liverpool played chelsea, my money would be on Liverpool, but no way im gonna back you muggs against the Mighty Milan.
ReplyDeleteCarrick was the star against roma, did u forget, even in the 1st leg against milan he had a good game, chances are essien will be playing at the back as the 300 million pound squad does not have cover in that area!
ReplyDeleteswoosh, you right. which self-respecting guy would ever support the scouser pigs?
ReplyDeletewarning u now, better take a kleepah like in 2005, cos if not, milan gonna fuck u guys bangkok style!
hey peter, why u talking kak again?
ReplyDeletewhy you post shit on the blogg? u are our 1/2 brother!
Paul and Gray Kirsten
UTD better take it so mourinho can shut his mouth and on the basis that money must not be able to buy you trophies
ReplyDeleteSWOOSH I AGREE WITH YOU WE SHOULD SUPPORT BLUE IN FA CUP ,MAN U WON THE LEAGUE ,SMURFS FA CUP AND THE BIGGEST TROPHY OF THEM ALL GOING TO ANFIELD FOR THE 6TH TIME ,FU#*inG AWESOME ! DIFF BETWEEN A LIVERPOOL DEFENDER AND MAN U DEFENDER IS THE MAN U DEFFENDER ALWAYS FEELING KAKA ,LIVERPOOL FEEING KEWELL .
ReplyDeleteSWOOSH I WOULD LIKE TO SAY CONGRATS TO SCUM ON LEAGUE WIN AND TO MY KOJACK FRIEND YOU WERE ALMOST IN GREECE AIG .
KOPOUT