THE RIDE HER CUP

This post is dedicated to Corey Pavin.. In honor of picking the most experienced PLAYA in his Ryder Cup team.. Yes, you guessed it.. Tiger Woods.. I mean really.. Who has more experience in PLAYING against a 12 man European field better than Mr Woods himself.. When there was a question as to whether Woods would be part of the wild card picks, i was like WTF.. How can Woods not play..

click on pic to enlarge (comic from explosm.net)

Its like telling Mirosalv Klose his not in the German World Cup squad.. Or telling Hugh Bladen he's not commentating SA Rugby games any more.. It doesnt happen.. Cometh the hour cometh the man.. Or in Tigers case, cometh the man, cometh the lawsuit.. Anyway you put it.. Anyways, i think if the USA were to win this year, Tiger will have a big influence.. Either by scoring the most points.. Or scoring the most birds.. I mean birdies.. Same thing..As long as Tiger sees the Ryder Cup as the Ride Her cup.. Its a win /win situation for him..

And then theres Wayne 'shrek' Rooney.. The only world renown footballer who has to PAY to nail a badaam..

Wats your views on Tiger and his wildcard pick ? Will the European players keep their birds at home.. Will Faldo's caddy attend as a spectator ?? Let us hear

Article by KiLLa.co.za

SHOULD WOMEN BE ALLOWED TO READ EID NAMAAZ at EIDGAH

DONT CLOSE THE DARWAJOH (DOOR)
By Uncle UBG

UBG, the logo and the post are sole property of Swoosh0018.blogspot.com and KiLLa.co.za.. Misuse of any of these will be considered as plagiarism..

click on pic to enlarge

"Arre yaar. Vut a thing bhai. I vus veet UBG last nyt. Sattawees raat. Vee vent to small maseet in locality with lot oopling rokraah.. Cos we know, after Taraweeh vee get Milk Tray and Magnum Vanilla Almond flavor. And dey didnt deesappoint. Teep Tawp maseet this one, teep tawp.. Maybe cos da veemen ver at home..

All dis veemen in maseet story dat is floating is highly concerning to me. If my Mota Papa vus alive today, and his vife say she vanna go maseet, his high blood level wouldve shoot through the roof.. No word of lie.. Today UBG dee read on Mawroo Kitaab (facebook) dat know dees veemen vanna go Eid Gah and be on Maseet Committee.. Even Mr Raj from fruit shop dee say "Aapne madat kir".. " - insert taken from the 'I DON VUN EARTHQAUKE post --> http://killa.co.za/blog/?p=955

There is alvays debate going on about vether or not vomen should be reading namaaz behind Imam and performing Jumma in jammat or even Eid Namaaz at Eidgah..

Its like the SANHA Halaal/Haraam Issue. There is no answer.Is Karren beef Halaal,Is Nandos Halaal,Is Mcdonalds Halaal.Why cant a printer supply brochures to a brothel where as a butcher can supply meat to a brothel...stuff like that.Ah Eid namaaz vas alvays special.As a lity I remember we would look forward to the morning.Sit in the Mosque,the fast was over..

There were always two brothers that used to wear their Eid Clothes from COSMOS from 7 in morning.You see them shining as they enter ..When Moosa Pheer(pronounced Moosafeer) heard this that the women want to read Eid Namaaz he went mad.He said its not their place.They dont see us putting Mendhi on our hands and dancing during a Geet..And Moosa Pheer is very holey...he just travels alot.Uncle Salaam he said he dont mind because he always tries to see stand behind the womens SAF.. Uncle Salaam reckons that he always gets import ideas and smells the new fragrances and sees cloaks and Abayas..So for him its business.He dont care.. "Seriously bah, this avoids me going thru pages and pages of catalogues bah.. Hear I take one look and the order slip can be done bah"..

But it has become a big issue and we would like to open this debate.Should women be allowed to perform Eid namaaz. I remember seeing Swoosh bhai and KiLLa bah on their Karooberry's at the 2010 Opening ceremony jumma.They must have been bb'ing the ladies at the back saying..Im in 4th Saf. standing next to Mo wearing a makarapah and german top..

So I ask you should the women be making the roast and breakfast on Eid morning or should they be leading the congregation of women on their own Eidgah/ .Can you imagine that Eidgah.Instead of White you will see colors and Swarovskies..You will see shoes from Sokrates, Nine West, Aldo and Jimmy Choos lying on the grass.The catwalks of Milan will be signified on the plains of the Eidgah.. The Eid Sun will beam on the Svarovskys synonymous to the Diamond Rush in Kimberly during the 18 hundreds.. You put a few badaams with collection tins and brothers will be running to the ATMS to fill that bucket..I rather stop here lol..

So I ask should women be allowed to read Eid namaz at Eidgah ?

a Swoosh0018 production on behalf of KiLLa.co.za

Click Here for Amazing Products

Copy Cat Recipe Cook Books-Divine Recipes

THEORY OF SCARVES SOCCER

Who needs the Jamiat when you have FIFA ?? Absolute legends by banning the Iranian girls team for playing with scarves.. Why the hell are they playing anyways -UBG

UBG has also just laid claim that he has banged Tigers Wife

http://killa.co.za/blog/?p=1300

Are FIFA Correct in this decision.?

What are your views

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Uncle Bhai Gora once said that when you go to Azadville you put on tour ehram at Leratong,
When you go to laudium you stop at Centurian to pick up 7 pebbles to pelt"

UBG ON NAMIBIA

DONT CLOSE THE DARWAJOH
By Uncle Bhai Gora

When one thinks of Namibia theres a lot of things that come to mind.We used to go fishing there without our wives he he..Oh the good days , the german tts and birds.Me and Uncle Salaam felt like Christopher Columbus wen we went there.We discovered the women and there were no South Africans there..It was like discovering a new country Areh Wah. Anyvays wid this 100 day celebration all the fans say they have faith in Bafana Bafana. We cant beat freakin Namibia Benchot.How are we going to fair against Mexico and France and Uraguay.

The pnly sports icon to emerge from Namibia was Frankie Fredericks and Borris Becker. And we cant beat them. Blast Perreira. The owe left us in a lurch and now SAFA brings him back.What a MUGG.Perreira is a MUGG

Elsewhere Egypt lost three one to England and the English were fortunate. Pity Egypt not coming to SA. The joints will lose out but thats how it goes. Italy drew against Cameroon and were negative and shite. While the Germans went down 1-0 to Argentina. Good win for Maradona in this rivalry thats spanning over decades.
And the kuck French were admirably beaten by Spain......
UBG'S Favourites for the Final.ESPANIA

JZ VS JT

We discussed the power of Punani and now we see what Killa has in store for us JT VS JZ

Latest reports are that there are five more Chelsea players implicated.
The whole Terry saga has affected Chelsea as they dew 1-1 against Hull

Should Terrys Captaincy be removed?

In the light of the recent debarcle with John Terry and his alleged affairs.. There has been many calls for him to step down/get stripped of the England captaincy.. Now the question arises.. What is the definition of a captain.. The so called leader of the nation's pride.. The idol.. The role-model.. The facts are these..

The man had an affair with his team-mates girlfriend at the time (now his ex).. Its all explained in the POP Syndrome (Power Of Punani) as to why and how etc etc.. My question are 2 fold.. Firstly should he be captain.. And secondly, the 2nd player involved 9Bridge) might not want to play in the same team as him..What happens.. Terry is the better player.. The team captain.. The commander in chief.. Does he get dropped and u pick Bridge who is basically backup or do u leave Bridge out and take Terry but choose talent over ethic.. WIn at all cost mentality.. Screw morality and dignity. What does the coach do.. Are the captains actions one you would want your kid to personify as a leader.. Watchin him on television leading ur nation in the World Cup while the tabloids have stories of him jamming his teamates ex.. So does the nation follow the so called adulter, the so called home wrecker. Will they accept him on his talent and not his ethic.. But hold on a bit..

We as South Africans, do we have a right to answer all of the above.. Think about it.. Our leader.. Our captain.. Our Commander in Chief.. Mr Jacob Zuma.. Did he not have an affair as in the papers this week.. Did he not get accused of rape.. Was he not invoved in laundering of cash in some arms deal.. And yet we, as a nation, as a single unit, as moral and ethical citizens, voted HIM to be our leader.. Our example to follow.. Our role model.. So now.. Answer the Terry questions..

Must he lead England.. Must he have a sense of dignity and step down.. Must he be a man and accept the consequences of his actions.. Or must he be like our leader and be the object of praise everytime he makes an appearance.. Its food for thought.. So i hope u hungry..
source:www.killa.co.za
 

DONT CLOSE THE DARWAJOH

By Uncle Bhai Gora

BAWRAW NE ROOPARI

When UBG was asked about all these affairs and best friends etc...he was asked if he ever cheated or was tempted to cheat whilst he was married......

His answer was simple.....He took Eric Forester on his first trip to Cape Town and showed him the ropes.

Since then Eric Forester has belted his wife, His daughter in law Brooke...I think when Punani showed itslef at him he even belted Taylor. Then Brooke belted her brother in law Ridge and her father in law Eric.

Which means Brookes father in law is in essence..AAH NEVER MIND
 
But affairs..Vat is it,the spice, the forbideen fruit..the dal cahvel instead of Kari kitchri.One day I remember at a wedding the aunties were all talking about how hot Eric Forester is...From the back one of the elderly toppies came and said.."Thats the f34ken problem today why there is so much shit...because you people watch that shit bold and beautiful on TV.
Everytime in Community we hear something bad,sick or disturbing, We say Ay did you hear what happened.
It was like the Bold and the Beautiful. We always draw parallals to this show.
Is our community becoming like Bold And the beautiful or are Indian women just getting prettier because they wearing less clothes than before....
Vatever...If I vas John Terry and Punani came I would take Siyaless and belt it. A man is a man..and is insaan(human)
As dey say If Punani in front of you only a Bailoh will walk
Oh and speaking of Chelsea
"Ashley Cole has admitted perjury in his recent court trial for speeding.

He said he wasn’t trying to outrun the paparazzi, but was simply trying to get home before John Terry"

BAFANA PLAYERS GONE MAD

DONT CLOSE THE DARWAJOH (DOOR)

By Uncle Bhai Gora

Finally i agree vit SAFA. Vat is gone wrong.Everytime ve have a big tournament. Da guys get hungry for money. Wat is da problemVy do dey alvays do this. What do the readers think. Are da players gone mad! Here article below from AOL.Im, still investigating.Vill add some more info later

The South African Football Association say they will not accede to "ridiculous" bonus demands from Bafana Bafana players as they head into the Fifa Confederations Cup.The players held meetings this week to discuss whether or not to accept Safa's offer of R90 000 per win in the group phase of the competition, which would add up to R650 000 if they win the eight-team tournament that will kick off on Sunday. It's been reported that some senior members of the side lobbied for as much as R180 000 per win but the majority of the squad were said on Tuesday night to be ready to accept Safa's offer.

Safa presented players this week with contracts stipulating they would earn R90 000 for a win in the group stages, half of that for a draw and nothing for a defeat.
'The bonus issue is not up for discussion'If the team reach the semi-finals they will be guaranteed R400 000 each while a place in the final would earn them a further R100 000.And if they win the final, they get an extra R150 000, taking their earnings to R650 000.Safa chief executive Raymond Hack reiterated on Tuesday that the bonus issue was "not up for discussion" although it was understood players had yet to hand in signed contracts to the Bafana administrators, as they were still lobbying for a better pay structure."We spoke about this and reached a conclusion some time ago and, as far as the association is concerned, the matter is closed," Hack said.He said he found it puzzling that the bonus issue was rearing its head again just before the start of the tournament.

'I thought we'd gone past this culture of springing financial demands'"I thought we'd gone past this culture of springing financial demands days before the tournament. That's why we addressed the matter some time ago."He would not confirm how much the association had offered but said the figures mentioned "are ridiculous" and warned that players should declare if they want to play for the national team or not."Anybody who doesn't want to play for the team should say so," said Hack.Meanwhile Steven Pienaar was a notable absentee as Bafana trained in freezing conditions at Milpark Stadium on Tuesday afternoon.The Everton midfielder was resting as he was recovering from a knee injury, although he should be fit enough to face Iraq in Bafana's opening match on Sunday at Ellis Park at 4pm.Bafana forward Terror Fanteni said his confidence was "high" after he scored the winning goal in the friendly against Poland at the weekend."It came at the right time for me. My confidence is high and I feel good going into the match on Sunday," Fanteni said.The Maccabi Haifa striker had been largely overlooked by coach Joel Santana in the last few matches but looks set to start alongside Bernard Parker in Bafana's attack. Veteran goalkeeper Brian Baloyi believes Bafana Bafana have more than a realistic chance of a semi-final place and said: "There is no reason we cannot get to the final. I have said it before that we can go all the way and we are determined to do just that."Baloyi has impressed the technical team after losing four kilograms during a hard four weeks in training camp"It has been a good camp so far. The spirit has been high and the players have responded."Baloyi said the 1-0 win over Poland had set the tone for Sunday's crunch clash against Iraq. The Mamelodi Sundowns goalkeeper said: "We are growing as a team and bonding as a group."That, to me, is a very important part of the preparation for such a big event. Beating Poland was a great team effort not just from the players but the technical staff as well."Baloyi said that Bafana were ready to rise to the occasion."As players we know that this is a once in a lifetime chance for us to shine. Few of us will get this chance again and we aim to make the most of it."Baloyi said it was also important for the players to succeed in the Confederations Cup in order to set up a platform to build on ahead of the 2010 World Cup finals.At 35, Baloyi was selected for Santana's final 23-man squad because of his ability to raise team morale and dedication. Santana is likely to go with Kaizer Chiefs youngster Itumeleng Khune who turns 22 on June 20 - the day Bafana meet Spain in the third and final Group A fixture.

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=6&click_id=4&art_id=vn20090610080532813C100059

MAJOR SURPRISES IN BAFANA SQUAD

DONT CLOSE THE (DARWAJOH) DOOR

With Uncle Bhai Gora

SANTANA SHOCKS US WITH CONFEDS SQUAD

Squad: Goalkeepers: Brian Baloyi (Mamelodi Sundowns), Itumeleng Khune (Kaizer Chiefs), Rowen Fernandez (Armenia Bielefeld, Germany).
Defenders: Matthew Booth (Mamelodi Sundowns), Siboniso Gaxa (Mamelodi Sundowns), Morgan Gould (SuperSport United), Tsepo Masilela (Maccabi Haifa, Israel), Aaron Mokoena (Portsmouth, England), Bryce Moon (Panithinikos, Greece), Bongani Khumalo (SuperSport United), Innocent Mdledle(Orlando Pirates).
Midfielders: Lance Davids (SuperSport United), Kagisho Dikgacoi (Golden Arrows), Teko Modise (Orlando Pirates), Steven Pienaar (Everton, England), Macbeth Sibaya (Rubin Kazan, Russia), Siphiwe Tshabalala (Kaizer Chiefs), Benson Mhlongo (Orlando Pirates), Elrio van Heerden (Blackburn Rovers, England).
Strikers: Bernard Parker (Red Star Belgrade, Serbia), Katlego Mphela (Mamelodi Sundowns), Thembinkosi Fanteni (Maccabi Haifa, Israel), Katlego Mashego (Orlando Pirates)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now Im not like Svoosh.Im a patriot. I vill support ouver country. BUT I should have got job instead of SANTANA. He leave out Benni, Moeneeb Josephs and Nasief Morris. Who is dis team. But vy Im pissed of is because of Baloi and he in squad. Baloi is patigyoh (finished). Vat ve gonna do ven de crosses from Spain and Grosso and Zamabrotta come in. Vill Baloi handle the crosses.

Anyvay Im not fan of Santana and if he fails Il be happy,Maybe den I can get a chance. Vat are your owes response on de squad.

THE BENNI SAGA

Dont close the Darwajoh (Door)

By Uncle Bhai Gora

BENNI I FEEL YOUR PAIN

Benni my son I feel your pain, I sat vit my friend Barker. And ve talked and talked after Gori Ma made some Masala Chaai tea. Ve talked about how SAFA throw away the hard workers and de people dat got dem deh

Its like I send Saleem Bha to go make Panchaat wit a Aunty. Saleem Bha wraps it up, takes her for supper buys her panjaabis and and finally she say Saleem Bha come to my place , The tawaah is hot, and come put the Roti in the oven. Wen Saleem bha vears hes suit and rings da bell. I come deh, Tell Saleem Bha to f#4k off and den I take out my Vellen and I go to the hot tawaah.

SAFA did it to Masinga, Dey dit it to Barker, Dey did it to Tovey, Dey did it to Phillipe, Dey dit it to Queroz.

Now did MUGG Santana spoke in Portuguese,the Interpreter den told Benni to f#4k off. Benni is not even in provisional squad for da Confeds Cup. Dat meand dat ven ve watching, Our best striker vill be in Cape Town.

Say vat you vant.Ve need Benni. He may hav dissed us apart. But owes vent out vid girlfriends, Dey broke up, Deh girlfriends left them, snubbed them den cam running bak. But da man did vat vas best for his future and sex life and married her and accepted it all.

SAFA forgive Benni if he snubbed you. Ve needed him. And Brain Baloi ad Goalkeeper.

Da owe will make Danny Alves crosses look good. Shocking, rather bring back Arendse. He is better than Baloi

So readers, Vat do you feel about Bennis exclusion. Lets have structured argeuments here.As it is our country. Ay let me run,GET SOAP, for de inaugeration tomorrow. I need to have my hands clean before I eat da prawns deh. Lemme Shower up. Il read de comments later