Monday, August 24, 2009

Super Tuesdays on Swoosh0018

Last night at Tarawee in Newtown which is known to be a Liverpool stronghold of some sort,Rashid Cassim,Gaf and lots of other Kop owes, owes were gesturing hand signals and predicting the scores before Esha. There were lots of "three fingers" being flashed.

I came home, and we were 1-0 down.Lucas. Man sensationally heading an own goal to put us on the back foot.

Last year against Everton I was on facebook analysiing the fantasy football placings with Mike Gani. Liverpool were 1-0 up and it was 18 points for my back three.There was seconds to go and I read Mikes comments.It said "Lucas ur P@#4". I looked at teh score and it was 1-1.Lucas was then involved in a series of errors which costs us dearly.

Last year we only lost two games and this year we lost 2 in 3. And in spite of all this I cant understand why Rafa plays Lucas. I mean play Gerrard and Macherano in midfied and Kuyt and Torres up front. Why does he play Lucas.I cant understand.

Last year we hit Villa 5. Many kop lads were also saying that its not Lucas but Benitez.

I have no words. Are we in the Perishaans or not. Do we need another striker? Talk boys Talk

UBG is busy this ramadaan.He was making umrah with Farouk Ribery.Thats why Farouk has been AWOL with Bayern Munich. UBG just sent me an mms with the following picyure below and said he will catch up with us later. I asked him what was his reason for going for full 30 days in Ramadaan. "He said Svoosh I feel guilty. Long time ago My grandfather and Hitlers father were close. I said so what !.

He said Svoosh aareh Bhai. Mu grandfather tod Hitlers father dat he must scre Kal Bal instead of a condom. Hitlers father was always protected.
9 months later Hitler was born and UBG blames his family for starting World War. So he needed to relax. But he sent this poster for da Liverpool loss

Feature: Liverpool Supporters Need Heart Rate Meters…
by KiLLa in August 25th, 2009
Pic Courtesy of

WHAT TAKILLA has to say

Last night’s game was just a catastrophe.. I mean last year we hit Villa 5 at Anfield.. And they too were off to a poor start in te league, losing to Wigan.. But to lose at home.. WTF.. The result apart and apart from the agony of seeing Lucas Leiva in a Liverpool shirt, for many a years, Liverpool fans have succumb to the fact that our team has the capablity of giving us a nervous breakdown..
Take Istanbul for example.. What an emotional rollercoaster.. We won in the end.. But that was one rare occasion.. What about last season.. The draws with Stoke, Hull, West Ham, Fulham etc.. Draws that are normally wins for the other big 3 teams.. But think of this from an emotional Liverpool fan.. And many of us are passionate for our team, regardless of what you other kok’s may think..
You sitting on a Saturday afternoon.. All geared up.. Popcorn and pizza at arms length.. You give your goose the credit card and tell her to voetsek to Sandton City.. And she must take her time.. You pull out you old CROWN PAINTS top and wear it.. You adorn the scarf.. You put on the surround sound.. The players are in the tunnel.. You can see the intensity on Carragher’s face.. You see the focus in Gerrard’s eyes.. And then the camera goes down the tunnel and you see EFFEN LUCAS LEIVA in the starting XI.. Your head just goes down.. You already know, shit is to hit the fan. And the midfield battle will be lost.. And time and time again, the idiot RAFA will persist with this poor excuse for a BRAZILIAN.. This is the only Brazilian i know that has no flair, skill, or even an iota of talent. I hear he was the captain of the brazil u20 squad.. Where.. At the EFFEN PARALYMPICS..

Liverpool pull off results in the last 5 minutes.. Last season, i think a total of 28 goals in the last 10 minutes.. Horrific.. The inability to kill off a game before that.. The amount of vases that went marhoom in my house is tragic.. You know you at a liverpool fan’s house when:
The remote is all taped up after endless throwing and battering
The vases in the lounge are all plastic
The TV has minor dents on the screen
On match day, the lady of the house clears the living room of all fragile items
You see a heart specialist report every Monday after a 92nd minute Dirk Kuyt equaliser on the coffee table
There is a khatam of “inshalla lucas dont start” starting at lunch time
The Vodacom/MTN/Cell C sms servers start getting jammed, esp when Lucas starts
The word “F%^& LUCAS” beomes a trending topic on twitter
Such is the life of a Pool fan.. And WE LOVE IT. I leave you with 4 words.. YOU”LL NEVER WALK ALONE.
Most cricketers, who are not comfortable conversing in English, go prepared for some standard questions that are asked when commentators chat with them during the awards presentation ceremony. Inzamam was once asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the firstquestion after winning.
But this time.....
Tony Greig: So Inzi, that's fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the second time and u must be happy!
Inzamam: All credit goes to the boys.. Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi. It was tight situation when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress and giving instructions. It's all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.
Tony fainted!

Thanks Mini for the post
Exclusive: I Can Keep Fasting In Ramadan Even When I Am Playing – Fredi Kanoute
Fredi explains how he makes the seemingly impossible a reality during a certain month each year...Mohammed Bhana
24 Aug 2009 09:00:00

Frederic Kanouté To be tremendously fit is a must for all professional footballers: a demand that leads some Muslim players to forgo the duty of fasting during Ramadan, preferring to fulfill their obligation when the football season ends. However, for Sevilla’s Freddie Kanoute, this is not the case.The former Tottenham Hotspur striker believes it is possible for a modern footballer to remain in peak physical condition during the holy month.The likes of Kanoute, along with Real Madrid's Mahamadou Diarra, Lassana Diarra, and Karim Benzema, are the talk of football world as doctors work around the clock to formulate a routine in order to keep them hydrated during the fasting process. And as Spanish tabloids splash headlines about the fasting month and debates rage about whether players should even be allowed to fast and play during Ramadan - Kanoute insists he just wants to get on with it.“I try to respect my faith and follow it as best I can,” Kanoute told“It is sometimes harder to keep the fast because here in the south of Spain it is very hot, but I can do it, thank God.“There are many Muslim footballers who people just do not know about in England in Spain, France and in many other leagues too. But having faith and practicing Ramadan is not something they wish to tell the world about.

“Personally, having faith helps my football and football helps me to be healthy and strengthens me. There is no conflict because people who know about Islam, they know that fasting empowers and does not weaken the Muslim.”While Barcelona's fans are wondering if the likes of Eric Abidal, Seydou Keita and Yaya Toure - all Muslims - will be fasting, Real Madrid fans know of the importance their Muslim players - especially Mahamadou Diarra - place in their religion and his traditions.
Respect Mahamadou Diarra“Every coach has respected my decision,” says Diarra on his Real Madrid profile page. “They are difficult days during which one needs to eat, but it only lasts one month. I have another ten to play well.”The Sevilla and Real Madrid players stance on Ramadan is shared by eminent specialist - Doctor Yacine Zerguni, a member of the FIFA and CAF Sports Medical Committees.Zerguni collaborated with F-marc, the FIFA Medical Assessment and Research Centre, in a study on the effects of observing Ramadan for Muslim players: two professional football clubs in Algeria agreed to undergo biological, clinical and psychological tests before, during and after the month of Ramadan.The study constituted a world first in this particular area and formed the foundations for scientific analysis of the potential impact of Ramadan on player performance.“This month of physical and mental self discipline, which must also be free from any unhealthy or aggressive behaviour,” Zerguni told, when asked if Ramadan was compatible with the practice of top-level football.“Ramadan is intended be a period of internal purification and meditation; a period of regeneration. It is far from harmful. Indeed, the psychological study of the personality formed an integral part of our research project.
Ramadan is intended be a period of internal purification and meditation; a period of regeneration. It is far from harmful.
"“And although many players who were tested could not adapt to playing whilst fasting, one has to remember that it is highly likely that the effects of Ramadan are also linked to the spiritual qualities and physical capabilities of each athlete. “Therefore certain players who continuously observe Ramadan when playing: their body can adapt because they are used to it - but many players can get tired. Players will have to work on effective pre- and post-match routines that will help them conserve energy and strength.”
Making a difference KanouteBoth Mahamadou Diarra and Kanoute place particular emphasis on the charity work during Ramadan. They donate a large portion of their earnings to charities in Mali with the hope of building a better future for their fellow citizens. For Kanoute, a chance to “make a difference during Ramadan” is something very close to his heart.“During Ramadan I give my all for my club and try not to let my team-mates and the fans down," he continued. "Everyone here has been very good to me and they understand. They also understand that during Ramadan you have a chance to reach out to those in need.“For me, my charity is very important. I wanted to help with charity work for some time and a few years ago I went ahead with it and The Mali Children’s Village cares for orphaned and vulnerable children. There is a very big need to work with children here, especially orphans. “My father was born a Muslim but as an orphan, he didn’t really know a lot about it, but he did try to teach me a few things. Children are our future and we should always try to ensure they are safe and have a good upbringing.”

Mohammed Bhana,
Bet you didn't know there were twenty steps to a football transfer? Well, to any switch that has the word 'saga' attached, at any rate. Here they are.
Key: We have the player (the player), the 'selling club' (the player's current team) and the interested party (the club where the player will be performing pirhouettes next season for lots and lots of lovely money).

1. Tabloid talk - There's a deadline to be met and our friend from The Sun has been out all night doing all sorts of bold things with girls called Kate from Runcorn. He needs a story, any story, so he scribbles down the names of ten players and the names of ten top European/Premier League clubs, throws them into two separate beanie hats and links the first plausible pair. He hands the story into the subs who siphon out the typos and churn it all into a lovely two-column spread of page 67. Sans quotes, of course, though he may reference a source close to the club. His mother, in other words.
2. The first denial from the player - The player in question tries to inch away from Mr Telly News Reporter, but can't because to do so would be to run the microphone-holding oaf over in his Bentley. Reporter asks question, player says there's nothing in it, drives off, goes golfing.
3. More paper talk, this time quoting the interested party - The interested party's manager says that yes, they are looking to sign new players for certain positions and that yes, if our player becomes available they may look at it. But they won't be held to ransom as their current squad is good enough. But they are looking at options. But they...
4. Denial from the selling club - Step number 3 is all moot as the selling club sees our player as an integral part of their set-up for next season. The player's current manager even wants to build his side around this player, who isn't Danny Higginbotham.
5. Another denial from the player, but he's 'flattered' by the interested party's, ehm, interest - "I'm very happy where I am but when a team of the stature of Real Madrid* want you, well, any player would be flattered." 6. Denial from the selling club, saying the player isn't for sale at any price - "The player is a big part of our plans and is not for sale at any price nudge nudge, wink wink."
7. Player criticises current manager/team-mates/fans/climate - Even though the player in question comes from the Norfolk area, he doesn't like it up North.
8. Player is publicly rebuked by his club, possibly fined, exacerbating his keenness to move - They may even fine him for good measure, even though the player in question is not, repeat, not Joey Barton. Real would never waste their money on that good for nothing piece of...(Ed: Delete delete delete).
9. Interested party makes first, derisory offer. Selling club reiterates stance - Because they're not selling and the public is getting bored. So very bored.
10. Player hands in transfer request, depending on his eagerness to move - On the one hand, he could lose the money from the rest of his contract. On the other hand, he could be forced to play alongside Alan Smith for another season.
11. Selling club rejects request - Because they're not selling and....
12. Player makes harsher criticism of manager/team-mates/fans/climate/all of above - The knives are out now.
13. Interested party ups offer - They smell blood and like the Galatico sharks that they are (by now we're definitely talking about Real, for reasons of specificity) they won't rest until they have their prey togging out in lovely white shirts and black ones on away days. Or is it grey?
14. Selling club turn that down, but say that every player has his price - The first decent sign that this transfer might actually go ahead. The public re-register their interest.
15. Player is suddenly happy at current club and doesn't wish to move - The public sit back down because they actually believe, the unwitting fools, that the player will not be boarding the flight to Espana after all. Really, this is just a ploy to drive up the transfer/signing on fee.
16. Interested party pulls out. Then make offer - "We will not be pursuing our interest in the player. Oh wait, we've just found a spare 20 million notes in our dry cleaning. Give us 'im."
17. Selling club accepts offer and says player can talk to interested party - The fans weep. And then wonder who they can buy as a replacement.
18. Personal terms are discussed. Player says nice things about soon to be former manager/team-mates/fans/climate - The hypocrite.
19. Medical - Medical.
20. The player signs for his new club, saying he plans to stay there for life - And our friend from The Sun tells Kate from Runcorn that he was the one who started it all. Kate doesn't care

Thanks Mike Gani for the post


  1. I got a few things to say but i dont wanna make my roza makruh....its about that piece of shit lucas in the middle of the park....please can someone shoot that idiot..please....he gives away a free kick for no reason then puts the ball in the net.....aaargggg so damn RAFA blind can he not see that the ou is WEAK?

    is it time for RAFA to go cos he is stubborn....we have quality we can play instead of lucas like RIERA but benitez does`nt play the ou...

  2. Abdool "LIVERFOOL" MouthpumperTuesday, 25 August, 2009


    Is that not what you scum have been saying?

  3. To quote Abdool "LIVERFOOL" Mouthpumper .. yes that is what we "have been saying" we are saying something different cos this is what we are saying now....we can say what ever we want to when we want to....

    I dont expect you to understand cos u r the liverFOOL....

  4. intersesting to see how many okes were pumping there mouths on FB after last nights game...some whose teams dont even play in the premiership...LOL

    some who support the MANCS... lets not forget the start manure got of to last season..and they won it....although liverpool were very kind to draw so many games...i dont think that will be the case should united or chelsea be top....

    rememeber he who laughs last missed the joke...or he didin`t get the joke at all and he`s just laughing cos thats what you do after a joke...

  5. William "the mathematician" SmithTuesday, 25 August, 2009

    Last Season
    lost 2 in 38
    league position = 2nd

    This season
    lost 2 in 3
    based on this formula
    will lose approx 24 in 38
    and based on the draw factor.......
    projected league position = 18th

    Hence X = Relegation

  6. Not much to say about last night. Poor performance. A serious re think is needed. We just dont have the creativity or go forward ball from midfield.


  7. Heres a joke

    FOOLS have only 2mil to spend on new players. Go upgrade that 19footsek PA system at the KOP rather. For 2mil you can buy one lekker sound system, woofers n all.

    5 bucks says FOOOLs wont make the top 4.
    email bets to:

    Richie De Laet

  8. Why is everyone anonymous?

  9. Roza bo lage loh today....

    Today i have a smile on my face coz the drols lost i'm ecstatic cldnt even sleep last night.

    Areh wheres that svussshhhh he had big mouth before the game then suddenly he had something stuck in da throat cldnt talk

    This yrs EPL is much more difficult i cant even even say the mancs are gonna take it

  10. Lucus must go!!!!

  11. Hey Swoosh

    What happened to Rash Cassim's Wahee?
    Doesn't it work in Ramadaan? You usually go by with what he says or is the frequency fuzzy due to a lack of food?

    Oh and anonymous us MANCS will pump our mouths when the Scum lose just the same way you pump yours when we lose!

  12. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH yes, the scumsters lost last night. What a tragedy, from drawing games to losing games. This is a recipe for VAUXHAUL CONFERENCE games in the future.

    Ok seriously guys, the whole team has to go not just rafa or lucas, just the thought of the team is enough to say LOOOOOOOSERS!!!!!! By the way, you can't equate Man Utd's opening performances with that of liverdrols. Liverdrols won't survive the defeats, they will go further into debt and find it hard to compete!!!!!


    "go" SAMOOSAS

  14. "go" eat your mummies samoosa's

  15. At 2-1 I thought its game on really.Gerards challenge was reckless.I dont know what to say.I have no words.

    LFC for Life

  16. Nostradamus all is fair.We deserve the bashing.

    I spoke to Rashid Cassim earlier.He shook his head.
    Lucas is the name on everybodys toungues at the moment.

    But we are in Deep Perishaans.As UBG puts it How to lose a title in ten days with Lucas

  17. torres the chick needs to go for gender testing!


  19. lucas must go, rafa must go, liverdrols must go. I hear torres is an expert now in diving, he learned how to dive from penatino and he is practising it on field. So whose the diver now?

    Torres is a diver, torres is a diver!!!!!!







  22. Enough said, look at the titanic, made in liverpool and it sank.


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