CHELSEA BECOME OUR DADAS

It was a disappointing Sporting weekend.Liverpool,Juve and Pakistan lost and from a MANC perspective they drew and f34ken even Real madrid drew.
It was a great weekend,;ots of food,attended a glittering function and wedding and when I got home our DADAS punished us.

DONT CLOSE THE DARWAJOH
By Uncle Bhai Gora
UBG ON WEDDINGS

Areh Svoosh sorry to but in your post but you talking of function I remember veddings back in da dey.Deh vas so much Mohabbet.You da toppies ver talking da udder dey and dey say dey dunno ven last dey had Mutton Karai on da menu.Ve ver at dese new functions you know dese retro functions vid da planners and dah chair even has smarter  clothes nowadays den da people attending da weddings.

You pay 1 peepty a head. Saleem Bha reckon vat sheet is dis. You pay so much to sit in da hall,you look at menu and den you see all dese fancy fancy words like Shrimp Cocktail as a starter and Butter Chicken and fillet of Sole and Languistine with Extra Peri Peri.Da food is all cooked in Pots nowadays.

AREH Wah. WHERE IS THE DAY OF THE DEG.

All da owes my age will appreciate the DEG. There is nutting like a Deg Bhiryani at a function vud you agree. Some toppies ver sitting wid me and ven did fancy menu came dey say It sound so nice..but da food is cold by the time it come to you. We are not fancy.Bring back the Dheg. If the Dheg vas here now the food would be piping hot.There words were There is nutting like a GARM DHEG,

MECHANICS OF THE DHEG.

I met Uncle Sam in Ramadaan and ve asked him Same Question.DHEG OR POT. And he said DHEG OF COURSE. But to have Dheg at veddiing cannot be done and cooked by any chipinnia. Deh is a breed of certain individuals,Vell trained and diciplined in da art of DHEG.

In Svoosh's Alipor functions ven i attend deh are the MASTERS at Work. DEY know their thing.

DEY say Bhai Gora U dish out and take control....You are Uncle Bhai Gora, I say no no Baajies. In the MECHANICS of Dhegs you Alipors are Kings. Even I take a backseat.I vant to have da reward of eating a Alipor Dheg.

The mettle and temprement of a man handling a Dheg is special. Dey know how to skep out the White Rice from da Masala,Dey know how to take out da meat and dey know dat deh is always no Oil.

One day at LMA Hall one Chippinia he alvays vanted to take control. He come at back of Alipor Topppies and say Whats going on Here ?Why is the Food still not here.He gap his way in and take a platter and dipped in da masala.Benchod Whole platter break wid da heat in da Masala and one Whole Deg go to waste. Da lity say dat Uncle in the class of MANICH, He only shows himself at da Big Occations.

Dis Svoosh is lucky.I know him ven he vas lity and knew he vill be an Alipor Elvis.But ven he get married da Dhegs are sorted Bru.

You talk about World X11 and greats like Bekenbauer and Platini and Cruyff but lemme tell you In my great experiences If I had to make  a WORLD DHEG ELEVEN It would  be dominated by hard working Alipor Midfelders of the DHEG trade.Great names I can mention...Late Uncle Ismail Kola used to marshall troops in da back...Late Rashid Degam, Currently Jameel Mayet and Kenter come to mind. I watched da greats.

Do you tink did new breed of litys can reach immortality...AREH WAH Ven Svoosh gets married restaurants and take aways vill deliver to de hall.

The DHEG Trade is becoming extinct and ve need to preserve dis trade. Dis modern caterers and cooking methods are destroying veddings and driving the Dheg to extinction.

Ven you talk of veddings back in da day the Wembley of Weddings vas LMA Hall. Not these new stadiums dat are built for Luxury and you cant even see da game like Summer Place and Avianto in Muldersdrift. Moosa Pheer vent to Avianto for Tuscan style vedding and he taught da POPE was gonna give da Nikkah.He almost got heart attack.

But LMA Areh Wah ......You can picture da timers in deh boots wid three or four boys and da timers wore double plyed jeans to protect from da heat. Dey had special lungs from da smoke,Dats why dey still smoke consulate and Mills and dey are 100%

LMA Hall ,Da tables and da blue chairs.No clothes on chairs and tea tables.

Da men used to serve and What a feeling it was ven you go outside before smoking and dey assigning da serving and all da owes had a bottle opener.

If you never had a bottle opener you were disqualified from Serving. A vedding wid Nip Cokes .AREH WAH What a thing. Now des Monis Juice Valpre Water and stuff

And the Tea Table wasnt about looks,it was who could get there first and have the DHEG Cher or MASALA TEA FROM DHE DHEG.

Novadays da tea table looks like a sculpture.Da cakes look so smart you donno if its ornament or for show or you can eat it. At vun Vedding in Lenz Uncle Salaam he ate dis Chocolate Mouse Cake Benchot His Sugar went over da Roof.Ambulance come pick Uncle Salaam Up and he became Diabetic after dat.

Before you go to tea table you pour tea pot and tea come out.You add sugar and drink. Saleem Bha go to tea table he pour kettle Water Come out. He asked Waiter Vehs tea?She show him tabel wid 30 types of tea bags.She ask Saleem Bha,Vud you like a Cafe Latte.

He say Bhai Gora....Alokko Sala o Daroo wenche(These bas@3ds are serving alcahol). I say No Saleem Bha.Its not Alcahol its new type of coffee dat youngsters drink. He SAY BHAI GORA ven da man dat say He He Hey Cremora Its not Inside its Onnnnnn Topppppppp pass away. I say Never mind Saleem bha...Just drink da water and make intention for Tea. You get same Reward.

Nowadays people pay Hundreds of thousands of Rands for Weddings and 100 waiters.Dat time da Gerr (house boys) did it with 5 Malawi owes.

I can go on il leave for part two but I leave you wid one last true story....Me and my guys vent to a 3000 peple vedding in Laudium. Ven ve enter da Lady she say Uncle Bhai Gora you go left and in front of Stage dats First Class.Saleem Bha say and vat about us.She look at his suit and say "call da brides father. He say you guys go right and right at da back.Thats Economy Class....AREH WAH

To conclude did post is dedicated to all da men dat died and fought and are still fighting to keep the DHEG Trade alive.

 

Lol..Ok Bhai Gora was heated there but back to the footie

On the blog before it was a great feeling saying that we are Chelsea's Dadas.We were trues Bob. But of late THEY ARE OUR DADAS.A resolute Chelsea performance as Anelka and Malouda guided Chelsea home.

For us it was our third loss and Benitez is still playing Lucas. Where was Yossi Ben Ayoun.Oh yah Benites rests the in form players.Losing 2-0 at the Bridge.In the past Chelsea were shaking in their boots. Now taht we lost to Chelsea many Alis are saying that Liverpools Title Race is Gone.Would you agree

The MANCS COMMITTED THEFT AGAIN. They need to assign security at future MANCS to prevent the theft. And against Former United managers they steal more. They almost got the winner but when you steal God watches and thanks to Anton Ferdinand they escaped with a point. How lucky is that.

Arsenal were breathtaking again and they hammered six past Blackburn.

Take a bow Cesc Fabregas thats how you kiss a badge not like Adeajor.But the Gunners are always great to watch. This Sunday was no exception.

In La Liga Barca won and Madrid finally lost...But they lost without Penaltinho.So does it count.

In Serie A my misery was completed by palermo beating Juve and handing them their first Loss. Inter won and Milan drew.

So for Sports it was a miserable weekend. And Oh yes The PAKIS Also Lost and Autrailia are in the Final.How bad can it get.

But typical Pakis.How can Younis Khan drop such a sitter..At the wedding the Toppies immediately said "THAT ITS MATCH FIXING INVOLVED DONT EVEN BOTHER WITH THE WRITE UP SWOOSH"

And then they had tea.....................................................................