Tuesday, November 16, 2010

EID MUBARAK


Me & a bloodied Faaiz Oz. Below Oz investigates a slaughtered Bull


Swoosh0018 wishes all our Muslim readers and friends EID MUBARAK. Best wishes to you and your families


Okay this one is a bit hectic. But on this blog always remember the following

"THESE ARE TRUE AND ACTUAL EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE IN LIFE. THE CHARACTERS AND VENUES ARE FICTITIOUS SO AS TO PROTECT THE IZZET AND IDENTITY OF THE ACTUAL VICTIMS AND ATTACKERS

AND PLEASE DONT TRY THIS AT HOME"

A while back in a place called The Masala Desert by many we engaged in some heated debate about animals being served as delicacies by certain resturants etc. But look how do you honestly diffrentiate between a Rump Steak from a Cow and spare ribs from a Dog..


Anyway thats beside the point. One of the owes then brought out a moment that happened a long time ago. Many who know this tale will verify...A moment that will truely Shake the Blog. It happened in th 80's I think


These owes were in the rounds during Bakri Eid and decided to undertake the task of distributing meat to the neighbours. Felt like doing something good.When they ran out.....There was a massive cat in the area called Chubby. After Eid Chubby was nowhere to be found. What had happened to him. You guessed it. Dont make me say it.


So till today there are some neighbours that thought they got the package from Nana's Farm..No wonder I seen the neighbours daughter in a Cat Suit last week......


And believe me these owes if seen, fit the bill of such a massacre. If place back in time they would be synonymous to Geronimos massacre of General Custer in the Wild West

Also we met Bhai Gora and Bushman Bobby at Bhatias farm, Lenasia Livestock,
Bhai Gora went to see one of his daughters in Tibet. We met the two geezers cleaning a sheep. UBG was saying how he wants to cook the Kaleji (livers) at home , when all of a sudden Bushman Bobby pulled out the Kaleji while he was cleaning the sheep and scram KALLLLLLLLLEJEEEEEEEEE. And ate it.
Then there was a nervous brother with a shaky knife. Bushman Bobby just said Takbeer and the Sheep was slaughtered.

UBG then mentioned that the farm laden with shit has become a Catwalk for Stilettoes these days. He said he loves the motion in which a women navigates herself through the landmines with her stilettoes. He reckons it really turns him on to see an Abya and stilettoes move so gracefully through a farm.He symbolised it like a burfee entering the mouth for the first time.

UBG also was engaged in heavy debate saying that he knows is not perfect.But he had big arguemnent with Saleem Bha about coming to the farm. UBG says he asked Saleem Bha Did you cut. Saleem bha was sleeping and having tea and said I dont go to the farm.It stinks and beside I sent it to INDIA.
UBG wants the blog to debate that is it necessary to go to the farm or do you just play with your toes and say I sent it to India

20 comments:

  1. time for a reposting of the cat/qurbaani saga

    ReplyDelete
  2. My uncle is the same.BLOKE hasnt been to the farm in ages.he rather sleep at home.I believe at least go to the farm and experienc the eid day.The stiletto ladies do it why cant he.He just say send to India,send to India.

    Bilaarl from Behtaarl

    ReplyDelete
  3. Swoosh I was at the farm yesterday and I seen this one okes wife come up to him and say.
    Moooooooooohamed I cannot take this anymore.The smell is horrible.Please take me home and yes she had stilettos.Lucky he replied "Go see the birds then Lovee"

    ReplyDelete
  4. The essence of the Eid is tha farm.Why send away.When its world cup time why go watch the final when you can give your tickets to some poor people in India rather

    Bilaarl from Behtaarl

    ReplyDelete
  5. Only South African Indians have so much pride that they cant walk in the farm and feel ashamed to be seen at the farm and view getting dirty as a nuisance and rather choose to be dressed up in there brand name clothes and parade around trying to make an impression to there fellow family members and friends who chances are they backbite and gossip about anyway, islam has instructed us to make such sacrifices and to witness such acts and allah did not instruct only certain people to witness the qurbani it instructed everyone, im not saying cut all your shares here but atleast cut one share and you can send as many shares as you like to those less fortunate but dont be lazy and arrogant, go to the farm to either see it get done or slaughter it yourself.
    People who send all there qurbani overseas should be ashamed of themselves, you are depriving yourself and your family of not only the atmosphere of bakri eid but also the barkat and blessings that come with qurbani.

    I would love to hear one argument which justifies not cutting atleast one sheep here and witnessing the cutting in which ever way?

    So many people around the world are not afforded the privilege of witnessing there sheep being slaughtered due to health regulations in first world countries but here we are allowed to witness and practise such an auspicious day in the way it was meant but yet people choose not to.

    People who send all there qurbani overseas are lazy, arrogant and hypocritical people who choose which parts of islam they want to follow and choose convenience and choose to follow islam in the way that conveniently suits them.

    Iqbal

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have to agree! Going to the farm or where ever else and witnessing the true essence of qurbaani is a must! Sending it overseas has its benefits but we have enough poor people here who benefit from qurbaani done here in SA! Maybe its a cost issue since sending overseas is much cheaper! Let us not judge!

    ZOBES

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  7. Kaleji is to us...what caviar is to the laarnies!

    ZOBES

    ReplyDelete
  8. definately go 2 da farm.a must 4 every family especially da kids.this is a legacy we must pass on generation 2 generation.

    ReplyDelete
  9. the farm rocks.. especially when beef is on the menu.. what a thing to see that beast slaugtered.. then u make biltong from it .. its lovely..

    ReplyDelete
  10. The essence of the significance of the Qurbaani is definitely at the farms. It humbles you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Living in Azaads Shareef is absolutely amazing. You have some one selling sheep at every major intersection from before the 1st Zil Hijjah.

    It is so amazing to see little kids looking and playing with the sheep before and after Madressah.

    On weekends everyone is lamming around the handmade sheep pens.

    Absolutely sublime to live in Farmville aka Azaadville

    ReplyDelete
  12. Agreed Azaads has the spirit. The entire community either slaughters at Uncle Ebies hardware store or Eboos back yard.

    So stiletoes, abayas and sunglasses aint a problem, its like you just walking in the streets or going to the shops.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Many a times the decision to send money away or make qurbaani at home is driven by the amount of available disposable income.
    It is everyones desire to be able to cross the Pul Sirat with ease, thus sending money away is the only alternative due to the lower costs associated.
    I guess as long as your niyaat is sincere - allah accept our efforts.

    ReplyDelete
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