I have managed to secure the interview of the Maradona of Thunnie, Rid-one Thokan. I met the oke in Midrand on Saturday and informed him of all the banter thats happening with the Thunnie situation as well as the call for a big one. He was quick to act and said Swoosh snd the interview. Let me see what the bastards have to say. I was priviledged to get an interview from a true fu$*ing Thunnie Legend.Here is what he had to say:
swoosh: Firstly. How is Shaka (Pele). Do you guys still punish owes as regurlarly as before?
rid-one: Swoosh, thanks for the interview. Unfortunately I still see a lot of that punk, fortunately not as often as before. We punish twice a year – generally when my wife goes home I have a get together of about 10 great punishers in my house…normally a week day and we play till about 2 in the morning (what can I say we getting old!) Normally myself, shaka, Big Mo, Zubair, Neesalin, Sivanesan, Dean and some other punks.
swoosh: I remember back in the day, Every Friday was against Mollies & Ballie. Punishment on a Friday Afternoon?
rid-one: When I started at WITS, Friday afternoon was steps. Virtually the entire Indian community would meet up there, the atmosphere was amazing. I cant ever remember leaving WITS on a Friday afternoon before 5. It was the highlight of the week
swoosh: Do you know Gknotts & Gminty. The reigning Thunnie Champs of Wits?
rid-one: Don't know and don't want to know these punks…last year my cousin Zaakeer had a 21st and he brought some of these fong kong thunnie players with Egos almost as big as Bilaal Coovadias (now that's saying something…) My cousin Jameel and I punished them and stripped them of the little dignity they appeared to have. Never want to play against C grade beginners like that again – and they were supposed to be players of callibre in this generation of cell phone addicted youngsters who probably don't even know what a real canteen at a real university should look like…Matrix? No thank you, I don't want Sandton in a University – RAU already has that (PS What do RAU and Rhodes students have in Common? They both got rejected at WITS)
swoosh: Do you think the standard deteriorated since ur departure?
rid-one: I believe so – there are some up and coming young lads who say that they've seen 2 or 3 no call kanaks! That just speaks volumes about the standard of the opposition. Remember that the Bradman of Thunnie, Shaka, NEVER got a single no call kanak throughout his illustrious career. (He called it once but unfortunately Big Mo was up to the task, caught us out and bowled our asses!)
swoosh: You played against many greats in ur time and its a priviledge to have ur interview. Talk us through the punishment you guys dished out in your time. The standard was high. Zoobair & Momo, Nielan & Sivaneson, Saleem & Kaveer,Naiker, Mollies & Ballie, Chictay,Berlal & Lity, Big Moh, Mazolls, Willem, Junky. I mean these owes were big at the time? I know the Corvadio brews told me alot of times that they punished Rid One & Shaka
rid-one: The Coovadia brus punished us many times – pity it was all in their dreams. I used to dream of Ferraris and naked women. Shaka used to dream of qualifying as a vet. The Coovadias used to dream of beating us in Thunee
The 1st punishment me and the great Shaka ever dished out was to ou Nizaam from Pietersburg. I finessed his 9-pair with my Jack/Ace by playing my ace and drawing out his pair. Then used my jack to steal his 9. He was flabbergasted since he never knew of such a finess move. Next game he had a nine pair again. I pulled with ace. He thought I was trying to finess him again, so he put his 9. Only this time shaka had the Jack. Few weeks later he admitted that he was so intimidated that he NEVER wanted to play us again
Another memorable event was giving Zubair "You'll never 20 kanak me" Coovadia his 1st taste of a 20 kanak. He ended up getting 5 that week.
Molis, Dean, Sivanesan and Neesalin were very intimidating to play against. Momo was the master cheat in setting and stealing. Big Mo had a huge presence on the game.
swoosh: What was the feeling when you owes punished first years, The Beckhams, Zidanes, Owens of the time. Did you guys teach the bastards a lesson. I know many owes lay claim to say that you guys collected?
rid-one: We never played 1st years if we could and were quite selective against who we played in general (I mean you don't get Real Madrid agreeing to play Fordsburg FC do you?). Only when some of the bras started leaving campus did we revert to playing rubbish opposition. I remember once Momo and me were playing against a 1 st year chick form Rustenburg. Her chommies were walking past the stairs and said "Oh I cant believe it. Her dream came true, she's playing against them" It was indeed an honour and privilege to play us. Punishing quality opposition always gave me a lot more pleasure
swoosh: Do you think the lities of today(C Ronaldo, Podolskis, Ronaldinhos) are up to it. If the big tournament has to be hosted?
rid-one: The proof will be in the pudding – so far I have seen nothing to make me shake in my boots
swoosh: Owes are calling for the Mother of tournaments, The World Cup of THUNNIE. Kabeer Goor wants to bring Deggs and Stuff like that. You owes obviously will be there. And number 1 seeds. Will there be added pressure or will you owes F*ck the owes up like the good old days.?
rid-one: I heard of it, should be a brilliant get together, he tried to do it last year – I hope it does materialize. We will just need to change the format a bit. Let all the teams play together till you get a preliminary winner. This winner can then challenge me and Shaka in the final…I don't quite like these competitions – there is too much for me to loose and not that much to gain
swoosh:When the World Cup approaches who will you take into battle with You.
rid-one: The great Shaka
swoosh:What was the Most memorable moment in Thunnie for You. In other words WHICH MUGGS did you owes wush, kanack etc. Who were your owes Geraaks time and time again.
rid-one: "Kaveer, come down" Neesalin and Sivanesan setting up Kaveer in the Final. Intimidating him into coming down in the final and 4-bowling him to claim the title.(If he didn't come down he would have won the tournament as a call and loss would have defaulted it to him)
Also, Kaveer and Salim winning the tournament on Friday, only for me and Shaka to wipe the smile off their faces with 2 washes on Monday morning
Zaheer "Fuck you Shaka, I opened 6" Bhoola
Bowling Mazollo and Haajee for claiming kanaks before checking for outstanding calls – this was at least a weekly occurrence and the punks never learnt their lessons.
Bowling Mazolo when he used signs on the verge of washing me (He was leading 11-0 and had all the Jacks but couldn't resist calling for a signal from Haajee)
Intimidating Bilaal Coovadia so badly that he threw a chair at me in the canteen
Me and Shaka playing Neesalin and sivanesan in the Canteen, All the soola ous supporting us, all the guji ous supporting them. The atmosphere was electric and the crowd was huge – the people in the back had no chance of seeing any of the action. And no one was allowed to talk until the game was over.
swoosh:And the Worst Loss?
rid-one: Mmph..getting washed or 20 kanaked was particularly embarrassing and would ruin your form for the whole week. No particular loss stands out though
swoosh: Do you remember the phrase "RID ONE, I TOLD YOU CANT PLAY WITHOUT ME (HSS TOURNEY) You dont have to answer this one.
rid-one: He he. No answer
swoosh:Where did you owes punish most bastards, The Canteen or the steps?
rid-one: Canteen was serious and for business – stairs was less serious and more for pleasure
swoosh:Lastly Rid-one, What are you predictions if the world Cup of Thunnie has to be held?What do you think Shuld one be held to separate the men from the boys.
rid-one: It has some value, but will never make you a legend. Remember that a guy like Shaka never entered a single competition yet he stands head and shoulders above the rest. Winning a little trophy will never give you the X factor
Thanks Ridone-You were indeed a legend in your time. I can Vouge that you owes ounished alot of Muggs in the day
swoosh: Firstly. How is Shaka (Pele). Do you guys still punish owes as regurlarly as before?
rid-one: Swoosh, thanks for the interview. Unfortunately I still see a lot of that punk, fortunately not as often as before. We punish twice a year – generally when my wife goes home I have a get together of about 10 great punishers in my house…normally a week day and we play till about 2 in the morning (what can I say we getting old!) Normally myself, shaka, Big Mo, Zubair, Neesalin, Sivanesan, Dean and some other punks.
swoosh: I remember back in the day, Every Friday was against Mollies & Ballie. Punishment on a Friday Afternoon?
rid-one: When I started at WITS, Friday afternoon was steps. Virtually the entire Indian community would meet up there, the atmosphere was amazing. I cant ever remember leaving WITS on a Friday afternoon before 5. It was the highlight of the week
swoosh: Do you know Gknotts & Gminty. The reigning Thunnie Champs of Wits?
rid-one: Don't know and don't want to know these punks…last year my cousin Zaakeer had a 21st and he brought some of these fong kong thunnie players with Egos almost as big as Bilaal Coovadias (now that's saying something…) My cousin Jameel and I punished them and stripped them of the little dignity they appeared to have. Never want to play against C grade beginners like that again – and they were supposed to be players of callibre in this generation of cell phone addicted youngsters who probably don't even know what a real canteen at a real university should look like…Matrix? No thank you, I don't want Sandton in a University – RAU already has that (PS What do RAU and Rhodes students have in Common? They both got rejected at WITS)
swoosh: Do you think the standard deteriorated since ur departure?
rid-one: I believe so – there are some up and coming young lads who say that they've seen 2 or 3 no call kanaks! That just speaks volumes about the standard of the opposition. Remember that the Bradman of Thunnie, Shaka, NEVER got a single no call kanak throughout his illustrious career. (He called it once but unfortunately Big Mo was up to the task, caught us out and bowled our asses!)
swoosh: You played against many greats in ur time and its a priviledge to have ur interview. Talk us through the punishment you guys dished out in your time. The standard was high. Zoobair & Momo, Nielan & Sivaneson, Saleem & Kaveer,Naiker, Mollies & Ballie, Chictay,Berlal & Lity, Big Moh, Mazolls, Willem, Junky. I mean these owes were big at the time? I know the Corvadio brews told me alot of times that they punished Rid One & Shaka
rid-one: The Coovadia brus punished us many times – pity it was all in their dreams. I used to dream of Ferraris and naked women. Shaka used to dream of qualifying as a vet. The Coovadias used to dream of beating us in Thunee
The 1st punishment me and the great Shaka ever dished out was to ou Nizaam from Pietersburg. I finessed his 9-pair with my Jack/Ace by playing my ace and drawing out his pair. Then used my jack to steal his 9. He was flabbergasted since he never knew of such a finess move. Next game he had a nine pair again. I pulled with ace. He thought I was trying to finess him again, so he put his 9. Only this time shaka had the Jack. Few weeks later he admitted that he was so intimidated that he NEVER wanted to play us again
Another memorable event was giving Zubair "You'll never 20 kanak me" Coovadia his 1st taste of a 20 kanak. He ended up getting 5 that week.
Molis, Dean, Sivanesan and Neesalin were very intimidating to play against. Momo was the master cheat in setting and stealing. Big Mo had a huge presence on the game.
swoosh: What was the feeling when you owes punished first years, The Beckhams, Zidanes, Owens of the time. Did you guys teach the bastards a lesson. I know many owes lay claim to say that you guys collected?
rid-one: We never played 1st years if we could and were quite selective against who we played in general (I mean you don't get Real Madrid agreeing to play Fordsburg FC do you?). Only when some of the bras started leaving campus did we revert to playing rubbish opposition. I remember once Momo and me were playing against a 1 st year chick form Rustenburg. Her chommies were walking past the stairs and said "Oh I cant believe it. Her dream came true, she's playing against them" It was indeed an honour and privilege to play us. Punishing quality opposition always gave me a lot more pleasure
swoosh: Do you think the lities of today(C Ronaldo, Podolskis, Ronaldinhos) are up to it. If the big tournament has to be hosted?
rid-one: The proof will be in the pudding – so far I have seen nothing to make me shake in my boots
swoosh: Owes are calling for the Mother of tournaments, The World Cup of THUNNIE. Kabeer Goor wants to bring Deggs and Stuff like that. You owes obviously will be there. And number 1 seeds. Will there be added pressure or will you owes F*ck the owes up like the good old days.?
rid-one: I heard of it, should be a brilliant get together, he tried to do it last year – I hope it does materialize. We will just need to change the format a bit. Let all the teams play together till you get a preliminary winner. This winner can then challenge me and Shaka in the final…I don't quite like these competitions – there is too much for me to loose and not that much to gain
swoosh:When the World Cup approaches who will you take into battle with You.
rid-one: The great Shaka
swoosh:What was the Most memorable moment in Thunnie for You. In other words WHICH MUGGS did you owes wush, kanack etc. Who were your owes Geraaks time and time again.
rid-one: "Kaveer, come down" Neesalin and Sivanesan setting up Kaveer in the Final. Intimidating him into coming down in the final and 4-bowling him to claim the title.(If he didn't come down he would have won the tournament as a call and loss would have defaulted it to him)
Also, Kaveer and Salim winning the tournament on Friday, only for me and Shaka to wipe the smile off their faces with 2 washes on Monday morning
Zaheer "Fuck you Shaka, I opened 6" Bhoola
Bowling Mazollo and Haajee for claiming kanaks before checking for outstanding calls – this was at least a weekly occurrence and the punks never learnt their lessons.
Bowling Mazolo when he used signs on the verge of washing me (He was leading 11-0 and had all the Jacks but couldn't resist calling for a signal from Haajee)
Intimidating Bilaal Coovadia so badly that he threw a chair at me in the canteen
Me and Shaka playing Neesalin and sivanesan in the Canteen, All the soola ous supporting us, all the guji ous supporting them. The atmosphere was electric and the crowd was huge – the people in the back had no chance of seeing any of the action. And no one was allowed to talk until the game was over.
swoosh:And the Worst Loss?
rid-one: Mmph..getting washed or 20 kanaked was particularly embarrassing and would ruin your form for the whole week. No particular loss stands out though
swoosh: Do you remember the phrase "RID ONE, I TOLD YOU CANT PLAY WITHOUT ME (HSS TOURNEY) You dont have to answer this one.
rid-one: He he. No answer
swoosh:Where did you owes punish most bastards, The Canteen or the steps?
rid-one: Canteen was serious and for business – stairs was less serious and more for pleasure
swoosh:Lastly Rid-one, What are you predictions if the world Cup of Thunnie has to be held?What do you think Shuld one be held to separate the men from the boys.
rid-one: It has some value, but will never make you a legend. Remember that a guy like Shaka never entered a single competition yet he stands head and shoulders above the rest. Winning a little trophy will never give you the X factor
Thanks Ridone-You were indeed a legend in your time. I can Vouge that you owes ounished alot of Muggs in the day
ok now i feel bad. the coovadia brus were both legendary thunnie players, but i sometimes find it hard 2 admit cause berlals ego was slightly bigger than mine...at least i was better looking...and the flying chair may have been-a bit of an exaggeration
ReplyDeleteRid-one
I must say.....what a beautiful interview. It's just a pity that some guys were still dreaming of naked women and ferraris while getting their a$$ess whipped. It appears yet again (as usual fro Mr. Thokan) we have dillusions of grandeur from one the legends. Bilal
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