Friday, November 28, 2008

THEORY OF THE WOMANS DATABASE


Ok, Now as we had an intense month of footie. Oh Shakes and Cisse...Did you see how Milan Stole against poor POMPEY last night. That Inzaghi needs to be arrested.THATS PURE THEFT lol

Anyways. A database. An information storage dump where information, valueable, redundant whatever is stored. Why is there a need for a database. Well so this information can be stored and retrieved whenever its required. And I mean Whenever.

But why is it that WOMAN ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS STORE INFORMATION AND PULL IT OUT WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

This hypothesis can be clearly illustrated with a real life Scenario

For the whole week your girlfriend, wife is harping on seeing the new James Bond movie. Ay shes nagging and going on and telling you after that she has been craving Cinnabon and after the movie no matter what happens she wants to have lunch at Vila Mora and Cinnabons thereafter. So you say....Ok...Saturdays gonna be a busy day.

Then Saturday finally arrives and you pick your sweety up, Take a nice romantic drive, QUALITY TIME at its best. Then you get to the movies, Ay everything going superbly. You book the tickets, buying Popcorn......and storming the corner is your Ex that you dated like 12 years ago. A conversation ensures..... "Hi Swoosh! Its been ages.
Now your Perishaan thermometer goes up. You look in the corner and you get a nasty look. What do you do. You put up your defense....greet the ex and go back to your love.

Now this is the turning point in the THEORY, And get this. Your sweety says....
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO RUDE....YOU JUST IGNORED THE GIRL...AND remember this words ....I DONT MIND...I KNOW YOU LOVE ME...IM NOT JEALOUS.....REALLY I DONT MIND. You say..oh cool...NEXT THING ex putting salt on POPCORN

Why Fear, You have been passed fit to play. So you go make conversation. Catch up with Birds and Bees and takes all but ten minutes. Sweety walks past ans days in a c@3k tone. Im in the movie.D12 and 13...AND GO BUY YOUR POPCORN...I didnt know what flavour salt you want.

You say f#4k Ive been only having salt for the past 20 years. You go in the movie in a small state of perishaans. Your SWEETY says....Im watching the Movie. No interfering ,faffing .Eat your Popcorn. Anyways the movie comes out and you lissing for that Villa mora and Cinnabon.

The gf says.You know what Im actually feeling bloated after the Movie ,lets just go Home. You like What the F#4k. For one whole week you have been making my balls heavy for Cinnabon...and now you dont want.

You think in your mind. But she said I must speak to my ex. She shouted me for NOT SPEAKING to my EX.

Anyways you miffed, you go home.drop her off. Sunday is a new day..takes her a week to come around

THEN ,The theory kicks in. Six months and Zamanas later, her family is having a braai. She tells you to report for duty at 6.30. You watching the Ball. You pull up there at 7.30. And shes pi$$ed.

Next thing she has no ammunition....She reaches into the Database and pulls out the file that happened...ten years ago in the movies when you went to watch James Bond

She said But when you spoke to you ex at the movies. I just waited there...and you ignored me totally for 2 hours. You made me buy the popcorn and all you were interested in was your EX.

aND YOU SY BUT YOU F#4KEN TOLD ME TO SPEAK TO HER....

AND THATS THE theory of the womans database
A storage dump that can never be underestimated and undermined. They have this database, they can pul it out at any time. And unlike modern databases they cannot be erased, they are 1 000 000 mega gigs with of space.....

Question, How do we understand them. Answer. We cannot.They were created from the Crooked Rib

8 comments:

  1. When I am RIGHT my WOMAN never remembers

    When I am WRONG my WOMAN never forgets!

    ReplyDelete
  2. They always store for some reason and then they bring it out when you least expect it

    We men, we are forgetters. They are remembers

    As'ad

    ReplyDelete
  3. Swoosh....i want to suck u baby

    ReplyDelete
  4. Women are funny creatures, it must be the mood swings of the 7 day bleed and i'm telling you it has to be just that. In that seven days they can change their moods and minds 10 million times, but outside that 7 days they don't have a mind. It's very hard to say, like something else takes over. Don't try to fathom, just accept women how they are otherwise you are going to go crazy!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The physiology is based on Hormonl imbalance!

    ReplyDelete
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