Wednesday, April 14, 2010

THEORY OF THE DIAMOND


WARNING: NOT FOR SENSITIVE VIEWERS. IF THIS POST OFFENDS YOU THEN LEAVE
THEORY OF THE DIAMOND P##SSY AND DIAMOND C#$K
By Uncle Bhai Gora

Now you must be wondering vat is this theory of the diamond pussy and diamond cock.As I said dis not for sensitive viewers. Ok lets start with the diamond Pu$$y. Vel let me tell you a story. Many years ago I met this women.Oh she was hot. She had the figure of a coke bottle,the breasts of Sophia Loren and the what beautiful eyes, But there was one problem. Nobody wanted to marry her. Guys were just going in and doing the deed and coming out flushed. The reason nobody wanted to marry her because she had a ferocious apetite for sex and of course was married 6 times, had ten children , but ooh she was hot.... Anyway with this vomen I had the Diamond Cock. No matter how badly I treated her she always cmae running for Bhai Gora. I never gave her presents ,I never took her out and I never kissed her on the lips.All I used to do was go there and punish. And punish I did. And she loved me even more. I swore her, fought with her and never and Not Once did I give her Love. I shook my head and said...
MMMM..I have the diamond cock.
In reality today many guys have the Diamond cock. They abuse, torment and show no interest, yet the women come crawling. Her friends wonder why does she take all this abuse. She doesnt need it. There are so many lawyers and accountants and degree owes proposing. But she turns them all down. Why....?Why is this. Her parents say that she is a rebel.....No No readers..She has found the DIAMOND COCK.....Thats it ....Thats the simple answer and the truth

Now you mus be wondering what is the Diamond Pussy. Well back to my story. Anyvay we all were punishing this girl,me and 5 other owes and a few of the neighbourhood owes.
Anyway I tell Saleem Bha that I got a nice unty for him.He must punish but he musnt get married. Now Saleem Bha like his sports and dis was really his first experience beside paying for women. Areh Wah ,Saleem Bha goes in and he tastes the wonderful thing. He goes once and twice ,then thrice a week.Then Once a day, then twice a day, then he fones her. Next thing Saleem bha in the pyaars of all pyaars. There is no such a thing as a LIE anymore. To Saleem Bha we are all Liars. There is no truth you can tell Saleem Bha. He has went in and fallen..and now he wants to get married there. Saleem Bhas mother and them are crying.They say good memon boy, only 18 wants to marry this 40 year old bombshell with ten kids.To Saleem Bah they are all jealous. They dont want him to be happy.Everybody is jealous because she LOVES him. Evrything she tells Saleem Bha he believes. She tell Saleem Bha that Bhai Goral loves her and that she never did anything with him.They just kissed.Saleem bha believes. Saleem Bha starts putting things on her name, his money is now hers. And this is  a man that was sent in to punish when men openly discussed this womens sex life and what they had done to her over a camp fire.But no to Saleem Bha the men were just talkers and wanted to be macho. Den one day one of the owes sees this Aunty going out with some guy and holding her and fondling her.
Moosha Phier (pronounced musafeer with a p) as he is always reading short namaz. tells Saleem Bha that he seen this Aunty at Joubert park kissing a guy. We all thought Saleem Bha was going to be broken but No. You know what he says "GOD SAYS there is  a twin or look alike for everyone in this world.You guys saw wrong. WTF.....We say.Is this man blind
And Saleem Bha knows that I was a savage with her. But he is in too deep. He has tasted this wonderful thing, he has found his love, POP Syndrome ....Pyaar, Call it whatever you want.The Truth is Saleem Bha found what is known as the Diamond Pussy

19 comments:

  1. This is the most ridiculous article i have ever read! This is completely demeaning to all women apart from the fact that it is completely unislamic! How can you publish rubbish like this for all of us to read! I demand that this article be retracted and an apology issued to all woman immediately! If you have nothing of substance to say rather remain silent! Swoosh! Dont you read things before you publish, or are you in agreement with this?

    ReplyDelete
  2. anonynomous lady I Presume.I agree it is not for the faint hearted but it is true.Why should an apolgy be issued to women.Maybe you women should issue an apology to all men for giving them grief and wanting to stay on your own and wanting us to ignore old people.

    A Victim.Be liberal and fair
    We await your apology

    ReplyDelete
  3. Should Swoosh retract this article?
    A neutral

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is so true.Why dont you issue an apology to al the men that were used and abused in their lives.Poor blokes.
    Anynonymos woman with first comment,we await your apology

    Eid Rheece

    ReplyDelete
  5. What a post Boss, to those who find it offensive there is a blog called "knitting for beginners" A true reflection of some of our legeds have fallen in the pyaars never to emerge again until one cold wintry taraweeh night...........

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous said...
    What a post Boss, to those who find it offensive there is a blog called "knitting for beginners" A true reflection of how some of our legends have fallen in the pyaars never to emerge again until one cold wintry taraweeh night...........

    ReplyDelete
  7. Top class.UBG is a legend

    ReplyDelete
  8. http://juventus.theoffside.com/team-news/the-case-against-rafa-benitez.html?

    ReplyDelete
  9. You guys are so narrow minded! To VICTIM! You're an idiot, your argument holds no substance. If you were hurt its because you were not good enough for the woman you were with! Its takes a man noy a mouse! To EID RHEECE! What are you talking about? You are totally insensitive and from the way you argue you obviously have issues which you need sorting out, just not at the expense of all woman including your mother!

    ReplyDelete
  10. so you saying women cant be criticised or wronged but men can.
    anonymous lady you are probably one that says women should be leaders in the world and men shoudnt.that women should command more prize money in wimbledon then men.
    If Im a drug addict and I propose what will your family say. Same thing here.How can we let Saleem Bha get married to a bad women.
    Bad is Bad and good is good No!

    Areh Wah
    UBG

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lady there clearly is a warning on post.If you didnt take heed go to www.mistaanmen.com. You will feel better

    Salim malik

    ReplyDelete
  12. Swoosh bhai ? to quote your lady friend above
    "Swoosh! Dont you read things before you publish"

    I say Swoosh! Dont you read things before you PUNISH

    ReplyDelete
  13. I publish what Uncle Bhai Gora wants me to.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Truth be told...every bloke out there knows of legends that have fallen in the exact manner UBG says....
    moral of the story: punishing is not for the weak hearted.

    Crazy8's

    ReplyDelete
  15. Women should not be in positions of power. They all fall pregnant around the same time, and go on maternity leave around the same time, leaving men to deal with the shit they leave behind.

    ReplyDelete
  16. HAHA - Swoosh & UGB - your best post yet

    God help the okes on Campus who used to say "I am just gonna pomp that bitch then leave her" - too many names to mention...you know who you are!

    But I think the first aunty was a victim...she got punished and she got launched...she should have learned to see the warning signs...as you have at the top of this brilliant post

    She needs to apologise...to herself!

    ReplyDelete
  17. IN MY OPINION EVERY WOMEN WAS MADE THE WAY SHE IS BY A MAN AND IT ALWAYS TURNS OUT THAT MAJORITY DONT LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES,BUT FOR MEN TO CLASS A WOMAN AFTER MESSING HER UP IS WRONG, LIKE IT GOES ANY MAN CAN GET LAID BUT ONLY A TRUE MAN CAN STAND FOR THE CONSEQUENCES.

    ReplyDelete
  18. it’s all true. Every group of bras’ had a "bicycle”. She would sit in the back seat between 2 guys, and let 4 hands probe. At the next stop, the 2 guys from the front would jump to the back...Everyone has a lekker ride, and then one poor sod falls for the trap.
    I even know of someone that got married, and his mate sitting on the stage with him, was already intimate with his wife to be.
    The sad part is that groom knew about the whole thing, and that he was last in the line.

    Great post Mr Author. You really hit the nail on the head with this brilliant post.

    An ex cycler

    ReplyDelete
  19. you are so sad

    ReplyDelete

Leave a Comment.Become a Member.Open a Google account Now!