Wednesday, October 08, 2008


With Uncle Bhai Gora

I sit and ponder vy I didnt get chance to coach SA. Here is scenario. Last veek I vent wid sum fellows to the Grand. Very Large. Beautiful Eastern European vomen there. The vun bid valk up to me and say..Aiy you..I see u on Internet.Do u vant to do a lap dance for me. You UNCLE BHAI GORA. I say sweety..U SUPPORT RUSSIA. She svear at me and curse me and say VLAD YOU,VLAD....I clueless. Anyvay, beautiful Ukraine voman do dance for me.

Now how vud I feel if Owner tell me.UBG,,,"They can dance for you but they cant take clothes off.".I say Vat the f#4k. What kind..Why employ them then. He say to me...

"If we can employ coach of Bafana that cant speak English...and pay him 1.2 bars..then f#4K YOU "

I say you F#4ken right baS@3d. INTERPRETER never came for Interview, so no press conference. WTF. I vas driving pass BAFANA training session..My 8th vife from India she say UBG,,SA hire Deaf man. I say vy. She say see he making sign language to man with pencil.

I say... Ok..!
lets go in future. Bafana vs Italy. Santana needs to make a change, or shout someone. Vat does he do. He ask his interpretor, "Eh Pare de dribbling, e fazer estilos. Eu disse SAFA para não deixar para fora JABU PULE"

His interpreter then turns to the player and says "Stop dribbling,,,and making styles. I told SAFA NOT to leave out JABU PULE"
By dat time benchot Del Piero score goal already.

All Im saying HOW CAN VEE hire coach that cant speak English

Ok scenario 2.
Santana is travelling without his Interpretor in Cape Town. A guy comes to his window and says. "Santana, hoe lyk it, ek en jy naket" Santana nods his head ...RESULT :His F#4ked

Again, What if he comes out of FNB, Guys says...Eeeeeeeish, Give me your walleth and 1 million cruzeros"Santana nodds his head.Result :His f3KED

Again..what if he is in Durban. Comes out to the LUGS...Outie says "LARNIE, CUZZIE..U WANT SUM DP. Santana nodd his head....Kehrel arrests him. Result :Hes F34ked

So my point, how can SAFA Hire man dat cant speakl english to coach ouver county. Its not on. MORAL OF THE STORY: If you cant speak proper English in South Africa ,dey pay you 1.2 millon a month and give you VIP status.

I ask Svoosh readers, Is the language problem of Santana and issue. ?Yes! No, Does it make a difference. Hiddink my friend. He cud speak, Russian, Japanese and Evrything. Dis man Santana must go coach Mocambique.

Uncle BHAI Gora
Over and Out
oh and please lads see this post from svooshes friend Takilla


  1. Nice article Swoosh....
    I agree with you 100 percent.
    Santana is a fookin job hopper, or did he get fired?

    This man has nothing on the line
    He will collect his check, and piss off after 2010.

    We needed someone with passion.. someone local

    The language thing is a great issue...
    after all why is the team called Bafana Bafana, and not just Bafana???

    Its cos you have to tell them twice in their own language.

    PS... this was not meant to be racist :)


  2. For once I agree with you ABR.

    iTS THE BIGGEST SOCCER EVENT IN SOUTH AFRICA .and we chose a MUGG. We neded someone to rally the nation, to win over the nation.

    to create the euphoria.TO WIN OVER THE NATION


  3. Salor Ajarm che bhai!

    How the hell can you put someone incharge that can't even speak the languge.

    I say bring back Clive Barker or put Gordon Igesund instead!

  4. joel santana has pedigree! he aint the mugg u okes make him out to be. foreign coaches have been africa for ages many cant speak the lingo yet they survive. football is the only langauge u need to understand.

    we need a striker. we create but dont score. at nations cup same problem. against nigeria same problem we dominate every aspect but dont finish.pereira tried and for a while the style we played was improving but no finishing!

  5. I want MINI in the swoosh0018 league cup..

    please swoosh, pit me against MINI..


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